Introduction
- In the world, we make our own decisions. From something simple like "What do you want to eat?", "Which books should I buy?", "Where should I buy my groceries". Or something very complicated. "How am I going to work on this project?", "what am I going to do when an earthquake happens?". Truly understand where these decisions came from would lead us to making better judgements. According to Unspoken Rules, there are three factors that people make based their decisions on.
The Rational Delusion
You are largely unaware of how deeply your emotions dominate you
- People think they make their decisions rationally. In reality, it is our minds, our emotions that have the final call. Our rationality only supports our desires. Occasionally, this leads to unwanted decisions.
- Daily life examples include exercising, working, reading, eating a healthy meal. We all know by reasoning that it's good, but why don't we do it? Here's where our emotion kicks in. "I don't want to eat a healthy meal because it's not delicious". "I don't want to exercise because it's tiring". Our emotions take over our rationality.
- These are the obvious examples. What what about hard ones. Say for example, you want a house. You start thinking,
If I buy a house, then I would be able to go to work earlier. When I don't need a house anymore, I can always put it up for rental or even sell it. House prices increase over the years therefore, what I spent now would be profitable in the future. So on and so forth
- You're thinking you use reasoning to buy a house. In reality it's not reasoning, it's emotion. The examples given here are materialistic. But it goes deeper into decisions like "How should I treat this person?". One common example of that is flirting.
- Using reasoning to make your judgement sounded is known as Confirmation Bias: One who finds all the reasons and evidences to support their desires. Other common types of biases include
- Superiority Bias: One who acts due to their superiority
- Blame Bias: One who acts to save their own face
- Group Bias: One who acts to blend in with the majority
- To fix this, simply pause. There is a gap between impulse and action. Master the gap between it will help you make decisions you truly desire
The Mask and the Shadow
- People are disguised with two personas: A real identity and an identity to blend in with others. This is naturally human instincts. People seek to be part of the society. This led to making decisions simply to save face.
- But calling another fake and exposing them is a bad response. Instead seek to find the true reason behind the mask. Decode the logic behind it.
The Currency of Ego: Navigating Envy
- People are constantly comparing themselves with others. "How do I be as good as this person?". "How do I become as rich as this person?". If it led to positive decisions like practicing, mastering techniques and learning from another, that is good. On the contrary, if it led to bad decisions, then it is bad.
- Ultimately, this is known as Envy and most people are afraid to admitted it. Simply because it means admitting inferiority and humans do not like that.
- To fix this, having a clear goal helps. Admitting that you are inferior helps. For the first few times, this might be painful. Overtime, it became resources for education
References
- Unspoken Rules (April, 29, 2026), Your Ego is Lying to You | The Truth About Decision Making, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KzAvDJSyTqI
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